His eyes welled with tears, and his bottom lip quivered. “I’m scared, Mama,” he cried, as we made our way around the ball fields in search of Field #5. It was an early Spring day, and both kids were playing ball. Though they’d been practicing, these were their first official games along with the opening day celebration.
There was a “parade of teams”, a visit from the Chick-fil-A cow, individual and team pictures of all the boys and girls, and finally the games. It was a good day—a fun day. But for my little guy, it was also a bit overwhelming.
During the “Parade of Teams,” he walked with his teammates, along with all of the other teams, around the perimeter of one of the fields while parents, grandparents, and friends clapped and cheered. I stood there, close to the fence, watching the entire time, but in the sea of people gathered to watch, he couldn’t find me…he couldn’t see me. I could see him looking this way and that, and then I saw him wipe his eyes. I began waving bigger, trying my best to get his attention, trying to let him know that I was there…that he was okay. But still, he didn’t see me.
His coach reached down and patted his back as they began to walk back toward the gate. He caught sight of me then, and I could see the relief in his eyes, but also the tears. He came through the gate and grabbed my hand. “Can we go home, Mama?” he asked. “Buddy, we still have pictures to take and a game to play…let’s go find your field. I think you’ll have fun if we stay,” I said as we made our way through the recreation area. “But mama, I’m afraid. I couldn’t see you. What do I do when I can’t see you?” he cried.
Kneeling, I said, “Baby, I was watching you the entire time, even when you couldn’t see me. I never took my eyes off of you. You don’t have to be afraid, son, because even when you can’t see me, you can trust that I am here.” And I couldn’t help but think about my relationship with God. How often through the years have I cried out to Him in fear or worry? How often have I cried, “God, where are you? I can’t see you…I’m so afraid.” And for just a moment, I wondered if God also waves wildly trying to get my attention—trying to assure me of His presence—but the sea of other people, voices, fears, and anxieties clouds my vision, preventing me from seeing clearly through my tears.
Friends, just as I reminded my son this morning, whether we see God or not, He is here. He never takes His eyes off of us. We don’t have to be afraid, because even when we can’t see Him, we can trust He is near.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
(Originally written a few years ago)
